Desiderata Redux

Shout loudly enough to disturb the peace of death,
and remember to always wear a rubber.

As hard as possible, make them surrender
And never seek good terms with those persons.

Bellow your truth as loudly as you can;
and make others listen to you,
even the stupid fucks who don't get it;
for they need your help.

Seek those who are loud and obnoxious;
as they will wake you the fuck up.

Always compare yourself to others,
since you are better than they are,
and always there will be losers you can look down upon.

Don't make any plans because you won't achieve them anyway.
There's always a job for you at McDonald's;
you can always count on gluttony when fortunes change.

Exercise deceit and trickery in your business affairs
for the world is full of idiots.

But let this not blind you to how sneaky idiots can be.
many persons spit on you from high places
and everywhere there is dog shit to step in.

Lie all the time. Especially if it gets you laid.
Neither be cynical about safe sex,
for in the face of adult ed morons still get the clap
it is as perennial as the grass.

Rage against the approach of wisdom
rock the comb-over and the pony-tail.

Keep your shotgun handy to wield in sudden misfortune
And make sure you manufacture all the drama you can handle
The chaos will keep you too busy to be lonely.

Fuck that wholesome discipline
run your body till it breaks.

You are the scum of the universe
and even the lizards and the bugs
have more of a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is looking to fuck you up.

Therefore sucker punch that fucker God
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
they are sure to fail.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it's all we've got baby!!

Be evil. Stomp puppies on Sunday.

by Leslie Marshall ©1984